Saturday 31 December 2011

On Becoming Foam


The children always expect too much of the sand,
And I, too much of the sea.
But the surface is unbecoming and so we sit 
With shallow lungs and anchored ribs - 
Demoted from the waters - 
Our strings in disarray; eyes tangled in an undone moon
That dribbles wax soldiers on noose-ready trees and
Blooms uncharacteristically on the beach,
Expanding like open-mouthed algae
To suffocate a sky of driftwood bones and airborne souls, 
Split by human alchemy and abandoned 
By milk lipped waves that fight us off with drunken tongues.
The water-people care not for our existence,
And know not of death. They end quite definitely,
Renouncing their bodies on the sharpest rocks, to become more than nothing
But less than something, 
A dusty residue lining the throat of a cold world
That hums itself to sleep whilst feeding on metal letters 
And pivoting on a broken foot.
The water-people disregard our colours
And steal to the surface at dusk with graveyards for skin,
Stone eyes weary of the lost people - the children of mud,
Who rise from the fog and line up along the cliff
To break the waves and escape their burden of ever after.
The sea-doers won’t help though... 
Hands preoccupied -
Stitching carapaces and seaweed skeletons to the hinges of their limbs,
Mouths sipping at the self-consuming lullabies lost in the ridges of shells
Buried deep beneath the footprints of drifters.
They dress in death and smuggle their trinkets beneath the arms of water,
To plant in the loam of nothingness where they rest their being 
And tend to their dissolution in song.
I admire them from afar, fluctuating on the tallest outcrop,
Sidling neurotically on a rock shaped like a horse and
Mumbling to the other rocks that tip-toe across my mind 
As we wait for the horizon to open its eye and swallow us whole.

I bow to the Princess of Japan, dressed in kimono dust, 
Crawling on hands and knees towards the waves
After shooting down origami swans and ex-lovers
In an imperial pond of broken conscious.
I nod to the cliff-jumpers, dressed in skin, 
Charging the blue and melting into the splashes of night.

And then I regard myself: an expert in dust,
A fossil coiled around the white teeth of Dover 
That bite down on the bitter sand and call me home
In a paper boat where I’ll crumble recklessly
And candle-like,
Dissolving
To become merely the sea foam
You’ll brush aside when going to drown...


very loosely based on the Little Mermaid tale by Hans Christian Andersen (the darker non-disney-fied version) or more so this particular quote which I set as a prompt many months ago - "We sometimes live to three hundred years, but when we cease to exist here we only become the foam on the surface of the water, and we have not even a grave down here of those we love. We have not immortal souls and we shall never live again; but, like the green sea-weed, when once it has been cut off, we can never flourish more.." - Hans Christian Andersen, the Little Mermaid

58 comments:

  1. This, my dear friend, is why I keep a permanent link to your blog even if it remains dormant for months at a time. Because when it comes to surreal imagery, word alchemy and intelligent thought, you are unsurpassed.

    This is a journey into a mind like no other, and I'm gratified to be allowed these glimpses.

    So much to highlight, but I will mention, first, the opening lines, which are absurdly brilliant:

    The children always expect too much of the sand,
    And I, too much of the sea.
    But the surface is unbecoming and so we sit
    With shallow lungs and anchored ribs -
    Demoted from the waters...

    And these lines, which strike me with their original vision:

    And then I regard myself; an expert in dust,
    A fossil coiled around the white teeth of Dover
    That bite down on the bitter sand and call me home...

    This is the way to see in the New Year.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Maybe I should have written my masterpiece first before demanding something from you. Now I feel utterly inadequate. But it's in a good way. Keeps me humble... knowing there are writers (true poets) like you and Selene and Kerry who knock the wind right out of me and cause me to remember that I could fade into the background and the world would carry on clinging to tail-end of phrases like "milk lipped waves" (I foamed at the mouth on that on) and "wait for the horizon to open its eye and swallow us whole".

    Your opening line was phenomenal! You ending was sensational. And our love/hate relationship remains as powerful and potent as it always has. I have never come across such a winding tongue that turns words inside out to make more sense than the original meaning.

    And let me guess... when you'd finished, all you could muster up from yourself was a "meh... not my worst". So far... it is your best!

    ReplyDelete
  3. dang what a rip...fabulous story telling and rhythm to this...another i would love to hear read....some fine touches through out...the paper boats...the melancholy sea foam at the end...like that quote as well...very well played...

    ReplyDelete
  4. meh indeed - your work is wondrous and frightening and has knocked me off my pins; I need to come at it again when the dark angels stop howling long enough for me to take it fully in ... this is nothing bad about you, more about me needing to regroup and re-read ... you are a true poet ...

    ReplyDelete
  5. this is fabulous...my favorite stanza is the one with the princess of japan, dressed in kimono dust...just awesome with the shooting of origami swans and ex-lovers...yikes..and the cliff-jumpers, dressed in skin... just awesome..and think i need to re-read andersen's little mermaid..

    ReplyDelete
  6. Just beautiful work, OT! Nice to see your writing this first day of the new year.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Wow, this is so deep and full of metaphors for the way real life is. We build people up, put them on pedestals and then are blown apart when they don't live up to the image that we had made of them. Fabulous writing!
    Happy New Year and thanks for visiting my blog and the lovely comments too. :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Lordy, what gorgeous imagery and so much of it. I am glad I followed you from your comment to Laurie on her wordle poem.

    Like Sharon, I will have to come back, but only because I can only take in a few images at a time to turn over and and ponder and admire how they work.

    margo

    ReplyDelete
  9. Brilliant and profoundly deep writing. Wow.

    ReplyDelete
  10. this is fabulous - i was so taken with the stanza about the Princess in Japan - WOW - and loved all the info you gave for it.
    :)

    ReplyDelete
  11. That's one busy sea shore.

    I think the first picture may be by Kerry's Eugenio Recuenco. It looks very much like his style.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Hello. Happy New Year!
    Wonderful post to kick off the New Year.
    Visually pleasing as well.
    Very nicely done!
    Thanks for sharing. Appreciate your visit too.
    Have a good year, my friend!

    A Poet's Immortal Thoughts

    ReplyDelete
  13. Wow you sure went into the deep with this verse. Great rhythm it just flowed all the way through. Never knew there was another little mermaid tale either. Happy New Year and once again nicely done!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Such beauty and depth in this piece....Nice work!

    ReplyDelete
  15. whoosh, how beautiful. i love the real little mermaid story with all its darkness. i have a creepy copy with creepy 3-D-ish illustrations that used to scare the crap out of me when i was a kid and guess what? now i read the creepy thing to my own kids. this poem curled around and got inside of me, it is wonderful.
    as an aside, i have no idea how to write a longer poem like this, it strikes me as epic as i write short, spare poems. two days ago i challenged myself to write a longer piece, so thank you for this, in this moment. i'll keep you posted :)
    happy new year, OT!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Happy New Year to you OT. I have not seen you in a bit. I LOVE your header ... awesome (the most over used word of 2011). And you do it better than Keroac, Dali and Plath put together!

    ReplyDelete
  17. nice imagery, like:

    After shooting down origami swans and ex-lovers
    In an imperial pond of broken conscious.

    ReplyDelete
  18. I always suspected, when I was a child reading Hans Christian Andersen, that he, like Lewis Carroll, wasn't writing for children at all, but those were the books I was given.
    Although they (A and C) both terrified me when I was small, I then went to school and found the fare unbearably insipid there.

    Kay, Alberta, Canada
    An Unfittie’s Guide to Adventurous Travel

    ReplyDelete
  19. OT you are a skilled poet. I really appreciate your feedback. Cheers to 2012.

    ReplyDelete
  20. I had to read this twice to let your words sink into my mind. You write beautifully and capture the fleeting thoughts of one who gazes and ponders on the seatide and undone moon. and thank you kindly for your comments on my blog.

    ReplyDelete
  21. I found this a bit sad... the protagonist is do capable of seeing all the wonder around her, but none of her own. Terrific imagery and inference. Flow is like that of the ocean, raking up new ideas with each wave.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Outstanding as expected. Your use of creative description is amazing to witness. Always time well spent...

    ReplyDelete
  23. Epic, and excellent--you are generous with your gift here, and give us three or four poems' worth of image, language and thoughts to chew over. "And then I regard myself, an expert in dust..." just genius. So glad I finally made it over here.

    ReplyDelete
  24. By milk lipped waves that fight us off with drunken tongues.

    Quite the storyteller - I add my thanks to those above!

    ReplyDelete
  25. very nice. a compelling and interesting progression throughout the poem. Your consistent tone is remarkable too. very engaging work.

    ReplyDelete
  26. ah, i really like this, very thick, and the way all of your imagery evolves, it compliments the context. i also liked the contrast, between those spirits that wash in and out, flowith the tides and times in nearly perfect union, compared to those that are anchored down to dust and rocks, the "shells" of themselves, the struggle between the static and the fluid, the torture that is evolution, both physical and mental. very well written, enjoyed this very much

    ReplyDelete
  27. wow, some pretty amazing lines here...I have got to re-read this so I can take it all in again. (and I may have to go read Hans Christian Anderson's "Little Mermaid" tale).

    ReplyDelete
  28. This is some amazing imagery. My first impression was that this was all about consumerism. Although after reading your prompt and not having read "Little Mermaid" I am unsure of the true meaning.

    ReplyDelete
  29. so much imagery, bombardment, my senses came alive, nice play meaning a good writer alone can do that! :)

    ReplyDelete
  30. Exceptional job. I haven't read the HCA version in a very long time, I have everything in an anthology, so I will now definitely have to go back and read it again. Great image choices with your lines, really sweeping. Excellent. Thanks

    ReplyDelete
  31. swinging by from OLN...enjoyed the re-read...

    ReplyDelete
  32. "...to become more than nothing/but less than something." This grabbed me from the start. Ethereal, these sea-people, reminded me of the legend of the Silkies of Ireland as well. So much imagery in this story of land, sea, and the world that exists in between. Loved it. Peace, Amy
    http://sharplittlepencil.wordpress.com/2012/01/03/hiatus-but-first-a-little-chi-chi/

    ReplyDelete
  33. Woah - is there some kind of mind meld, uncanny time shift spasm going on... lol

    i'm a Dovorian and wrote Blade Wader on christmas day and then your writing this magnificant piece in the same time/space frame... Cool as Fuck;)

    This is Standout - top to toe - it covers everything that need be said on the subject
    without telling me what to think or why...just how... CLASS in a glass - shaken and stirred!

    ReplyDelete
  34. Loved these lines OT

    Mouths sipping at the self-consuming lullabies lost in the ridges of shells
    Buried deep beneath the footprints of drifters.

    The sea is a beautiful thing but also such a dark and dangerous thing if not respected - you've captured the essence of the sea beautifully here.

    Steve

    ReplyDelete
  35. nice...swinging back through...great to see this at OLN...quality verse.....

    ReplyDelete
  36. somewhat dark, yes, but beautiful - gorgeous images, well-thought-out imagery... the title and first line really drew me in and I was not disappointed.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Oh, my goodness. Masterpiece here. The water people. Everything about this is pure art.

    ReplyDelete
  38. Loved every word. You have a new fan.

    Beth

    ReplyDelete
  39. This is so good it makes my teeth hurt. Wow...just wow!

    ReplyDelete
  40. wow, this is incredible, so many lines i love... beginning with the title... then these:
    "Renouncing their bodies on the sharpest rocks, to become more than nothing
    But less than something,
    A dusty residue lining the throat of a cold world"
    you are gifted!

    ReplyDelete
  41. very rarely we come across such brilliant and rare verse ... it has an epic quality ...

    ReplyDelete
  42. I'm shivering; what a tour de force of a poem! The imagery is vivid and immediate. Also, there are so many achingly beautiful lines in this piece. All of this from The Little Mermaid?

    ReplyDelete
  43. your poetry is like a breath of fresh air to me. glad to have discovered your blog. epic and truly inspired and inspiring. thanks for sharing.

    ReplyDelete
  44. The delightfully unexpected word at every turn!

    ReplyDelete
  45. Interesting storyline of the sea-people and I like the reference.

    ReplyDelete
  46. The imagery here is amazing, and I particularly loved the "Princess of Japan" verse. Sublimity right there.

    And a thousand thank yous for visiting my blog.

    ReplyDelete
  47. So beautiful....noose-ready trees and kimono dust : ) I loved every, single line. Thanks for stopping by blog so I could find you!
    *bookmarked*
    -Eva

    ReplyDelete
  48. beautiful. i felt this like wistful melancholy. like sitting in an observatory watching the end of the world approach... whatever that means... im reaching for words, which is a clear indication that you've done something remarkable. you've created a piece that allows the reader to feel bereft, but at the same time, remarkably at peace.
    THAT is stunning.

    ReplyDelete
  49. As I read this, it did remind me of the Little Mermaid story (the "real" version, of course!) I love the first two lines of your poem-they grabbed me in immediately. Your writing is so lyrical and beautiful.

    ReplyDelete
  50. I love the depth and the darkness of your words~ I can't wait for the movie~ Your imagery guides and glides us on a journey of haunting beauty~ Well Done!!!

    ReplyDelete
  51. wow, wow and double wow! these lines are enough to get me on a high.sublime, brother!

    ReplyDelete
  52. Your first stanza, in particular, just blows me away. These are my favorites:

    "The children always expect too much of the sand,
    And I, too much of the sea"

    "Demoted from the waters -
    Our strings in disarray; eyes tangled in an undone moon
    That dribbles wax soldiers on noose-ready trees"

    "Expanding like open-mouthed algae
    To suffocate a sky of driftwood bones and airborne souls,
    Split by human alchemy and abandoned
    By milk lipped waves that fight us off with drunken tongues"

    Whew. You are amazing. :)

    ReplyDelete
  53. I loved the inspiration for this beautiful writing. It's a far cry from Disney's Little Mermaid for sure. But I think that's a good thing :)

    The last stanza is brilliant and brilliantly tragic.

    Thank you for visiting my blog.

    ReplyDelete
  54. Thank you for all the glowing comments you leave on my blog; they make my day. :)

    I'm starting a new poetry-challenge linkup that I hope you'll jump in on:

    http://rosemarymint.wordpress.com/2012/01/09/monday-melting-week-1/

    ReplyDelete
  55. Wonderful imagery, beautifully written.

    Anna :o]

    ReplyDelete
  56. Let's start at the beginning shall we:
    What an opening line! The calm, wise voice and tone already set as though looking back at the past and a life well lived. Hints of something else, setting the image of the beach.
    Again, the regrets and mistakes, lessons learned. So succinctly placed and expressed yet packed with much more. (Damn you!)
    I don't want to pull this to pieces so I'll go through more what I feel from this.
    There's so much longing, regret, knowledge and an outsider. It's beautifully carved upon the page and slinks into my mind. Setting everything up in your careful, patient manner to be sure it stays right there, haunting me. (Again, damn you!)
    It feels as though the person feels so much more for the water people, their belonging and then how they end with such courage and a finale reach. To become everything and nothing, a mark and a piece. Much more honest.
    "They dress in death and smuggle their trinkets beneath the arms of water," I love that little line, it just made me smile.
    Then to slowly slink into that ending. I love the amount of emotion you pack in between those fantastic images (you know I'm jealous). It all has that calm acceptance, the knowledge of the end, pining, longing an reaching out for a home you can never have. Sat among those who birthed you knowing you're not one of them, not really.

    ReplyDelete
  57. OT... its dreamer from Writerscafe. I had no idea how to contact you so I start a blog so that I can keep up to date with you post. Excited to enjoy more of those inspiring pieces.

    ReplyDelete
  58. Your work article, blogs I mean over all contents is must read stuff.memory foam mattresses

    ReplyDelete